Not What, Who
Sometimes people wonder what sexual activities are allowed in the context of heterosexual marriage. But the Bible does not give us lists of approved sexual activities. The question the Bible is concerned with is not what but who.
Is it right to do this or that? The question is: Who is it with? If it's not with your spouse than the answer is no. If it's with your spouse the question becomes 1) do you both want to give it a try? and 2) having done it did it draw you closer together?
The Song of Songs is an exuberant, free celebration of sex within the context of heterosexual marriage. And it would be good for couples to reflect this exuberance and freedom as the explore and enjoy the wonders of marital sex.
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As far as homosexuality, I believe it is between that person and God. It is not up to us to judge whether it is right or wrong. I have gone through the Bible and it is clear that sex is to be between a man and a woman. My son is Gay and I am very proud to call him my son. I may not believe that what he does is right, but I won't judge him. I've seen too many parents walk away from their children. My son is a special gift from God.His father and I were told we couldn't have any children and 9 mths later my son arrived. Also telling someone who is a rape victim that sex is great is a tough one to swallow. It was a chore for me for many years. In a past relationship I was told it was my job because God says a women is to take care of a man. I never did get paid for that job!!!!! We all need to be real careful in what and how we read the Bible, that it is not taken our of context for needs for that moment
Elaine Chague | Thu 16 Oct 2008
Good comments Elaine... thanks for sharing that.
Some quick thoughts:
I think there are few issues that the church has messed up more on than the homosexuality one. Somehow we never get the balance right, possibly because it such an emotionally charged issue.
As a pastor, I talk to people everyday for whom this is an issue and struggle. Some are followers of Christ, many are not. Of those who are not, it is often a sense of condemnation that keeps them away from the church, and sadly therefore Jesus.
I think in our day we must wrestle with how to maintain Biblical fidelity in all its facets -- that is, the Bible is pretty clear on the issue of homosexuality, but it is also pretty clear on the issue of grace and God's unconditional love. It is also clear that God calls us to judge (with grace) fellow followers of Jesus, but not to judge those outside the church (I Cor 5:12).
Let me also affirm that indeed your son is a gift and your call as a parent is to love him unconditionally (as God loves him unconditionally)--and the church (universal) needs to love him unconditionally!
As to your second point, this is a tough issue and one that many people -- both men and women -- must deal with. Sadly, it is a reminder of the terrible brokenness of our world and the evil that sin perpetuates when that which is a good gift from God becomes something negative, painful, and burdensome.
We live in a broken world, but should never lose site of the goodness of God and his creation and his gifts to us...
Come Lord Jesus!
Ben Dubow | Thu 16 Oct 2008
Thanks for sharing, Elaine
I appreciate your comments. These are tough issues which you brought up. I'm glad we get to wrestle with these as a community.
Vince Gierer | Fri 17 Oct 2008
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